To Capture A Moment
by The-voices-told-me
Summary: 50 one-shots, Buffy/Faith. 9th one-shot up; 6th part. -It's turning into a story!-
1. Promise, me

_A/N: This is just really random, the idea just came to me so I thought i'd write it. This is Buffy/Faith. I am going to write more one-shots and every week or few days i will post them, this is my first one-shot to start off with, PLEASE review!!! As I seriously want to know what you think. Keep in mind I was tired, mix that with a huge amount of sugar and this is what you get..._

_Enjoy_

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It's silent

Silent…and dark

But you can see her, see how her eyes haven't left yours since you opened that front door, how she has managed to render you speechless without so much as a whisper, a word…sentence.

She's said nothing yet your mind has stopped

Heart following suit and with that making you feel dizzy

You try to utter something, anything!

To ask her what she is doing here, ask her why, though you barely get your mouth open before she speaks.

And her voice is broken, soft, said hushed as though she's afraid to talk with force.

"Promise me you'll be truthful."

You try to shake your head, tell her you don't understand but she keeps talking.

"Promise me B."

It's louder and you find yourself hit from your brain overload as you mutter in reply.

"Why?" So it's not a perfect reply, but you've stated to her that you are confused.

She steps forward and it's only then do you see the tears, the salty marks strewn wildly down her crimson touched cheeks, your heart pounds a fraction faster.

Faith…Crying?

Has the world ended?

You doubt you have seen her cry before, maybe once though from memory this is a first.

She notices you staring at her tears though what surprises you more is she doesn't seem to care.

"Just promise 'kay…" And now you find yourself nodding, it's not controlled and you realize you don't stop till she speaks again. "Can I ask you a question?"

You try to smile, ease whatever emotions she is feeling. "Of course."

"You'll be truthful right? No muckin' me around and shit…"

"Faith, what's going-"

"-Just listen B, listen 'cause I'm just 'bout losing my nerve here and I really need to say this, so listen yeah."

She's nervous; you've rarely seen that side of her. So you nod. "Okay, I'm listening."

Her smile is quick, a flash then it's gone. "Good, okay…good, that's…"

She stops

Stops everything, her words, her breathing…the slight rocking back and forth she had been keen on upholding as she addressed you.

You frown but don't say anything

A moment later she looks to the ground, her eyes no longer meeting yours. "This is big B, what I'm 'bout to say."

"I'll be truthful." You say and she looks back up. "Promise."

"I know…" She seems to pause. "Thanks."

You nod, something you think you are becoming very good at, she smiles faintly and you find yourself stepping closer.

"Tell me Faith, ask me."

She falters, you don't miss it.

"I don't know if-"

"Faith…" You whisper and she stares even deeper into your eyes, you keep her gaze. "You're crying."

She is, has been crying as you've establish before, only now it's not merely a few tears

No

It's many, all rolling quickly down her soft cheeks as she nods, the drops falling on her shirt and leaving wet marks.

"Caught me B." She says and you suddenly want to pull her into a tight embrace and never let her go.

You frown in concern. "Why?" That one worded question again.

She seems to revert into herself slightly and you see a wall starting to appear.

"Why what?"

Yep she's gone on the defensive.

"Why are you crying?"

"Why's the sky blue?"

"I don't know…"

She bows her head. "There's your answer."

"Faith, you have to know why you're crying."

She snaps her head back up and you see a flash of hurt go across her features, though it's gone to quickly for you to say anything. "I don't B…I can't even explain why I'm here."

"You wanted to ask me a question." You say and she smiles though it's empty and lacking her usual spark.

"Right…"

"You gonna ask me?"

You see her start to rock back and forth again, a nervous habit maybe?

"I'm…_scared_." Said with hesitance and you note this, you take another step towards her trying to understand, to alleviate some of your confusion.

"Scared of what?"

"The answer…"

You smile. "I'll be truthful Faith, you have my word."

"That's the part I'm 'fraid of B."

You don't miss the look she gives you, one that is so fearful, so anxious and yet so hopeful. Again you smile though this time with heart.

"You have nothing to be afraid of."

"Doesn't explain my wicked heart rate…"

"Mines the same, feels like a heart attack." You whisper this and Faith seems to relax slightly.

"Here goes, yeah?"

You nod. "I'm all ears."

"Don't lie to me, I don't want to be fucked around or 'nothin-"

"-Faith…"

"…Look B, here's me with words, it's a wicked sad picture so just bare with me and-"

"Faith…"

"What?" She asks and it almost sounds like her pissed off, full of confidants self.

You again smile and can't hide the slight laughter that reaches your eyes. "Just ask me already."

A nod, a breath, a slight pause. "Do you…"

"Do I what?"

"Never mind, it's stupid."

Defensive walls coming up.

"Faith, what?"

"Forget it B."

"No, you come by my house at god knows what hour acting all un Faith like, wanting to ask me something and now you're just going-"

She scoffs. "Look you listen here."

"I'm done listening Faith…" Okay so you're mad, it's late. Justified right?

You get your answer when Faith breaths out, a slight waver in her voice.

No, no it's not justified.

"Fine." She says and you are hit with a rush of emotions.

Thoughts that stream within a second.

_Hug her…Go inside…Say something…Do something…Yell at her…No! Just stop her from leaving._

"Faith, I'm…I'm sorry, tiredness makes me a monster."

She surprises you with her reply. "You're no monster B, take it from someone with experience."

"What?"

She avoids this. "I should go, let ya get some sleep."

You shake your head, she couldn't just leave, not when you have so many questions.

"No, Faith."

"It's cool B, forget I came, see ya some other time."

"You can't just leave; you haven't asked me your question."

"Ya don't wanna hear it…"

"I think you're too afraid to say it."

She looks at you like you've spouted two heads. "Duh B, told ya that already."

"Stop running Faith." You all but sneer and this captures her full attention, you hadn't meant for it to come out like that, so uncaring and cold.

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you kinda are Faith." Again with the coldness…What's that all about?

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"You're wrong!"

"Then ask me the damn question!"

She grimaces. "Look here-"

"Ask me!" You yell, yell?! What is wrong with you? It's not meant to come out mean, but somehow it does, makes you sound like you don't care if she's crying, standing on your doorstep in the cold and has shown more of herself the past few minutes then the whole time you've known her…you seem heartless.

Though again words spill from you. "Ask me Faith!"

"Buffy…"

"Please, just…"

"Do you love me?"

A pause, a breath, a moment of silence.

You're speechless a second time, only this round it's her words that take the ability to form a sentence from you, her words that make your heart beat fast within your chest, pounding against your rib cage.

Her words that invoke a reaction in you that until you've captured her lips with your own do you realize what you are doing, it feels right and when you pull away it's her words that make you smile so brightly it could just be morning.

"I'm gunna go 'head and take that as a yes?"

Still speechless…you nod.

_Oh, yeah…That's a yes._

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_A/N: Good? Bad? Yes? No? Yarp? Narp? Let me know. Also if anyone has any requests for my next one-shot or just a randomly weird idea that popped into your head, let me know. I may just write it. Oh and I shall grovel a bit before I away...Please spare a few moments of your time and click that review button, It would make me one happy little bunny..._


	2. Emotions

_A/N: My next one-shot is here, this isn't so much Buffy/Faith but I had the idea so I thought I may as well post. It's really just a short basically a drabble on the ending of season seven. I would like to say a MASSIVE thank you to the people that reviewed and read my other one-shot. It is always good to hear what people think. And I give you a cyber cookie and cyber hug for the feedback. Okay now go easy on me, I again wrote this when I was tired and I had heaps of distractions. Hope you like._

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, if I did Spike wouldn't have died in the final.

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A smile

It was all it took

No words needed to be spoken, she was sure if they were the moment would be lost.

So she simply looks, simply gazes upon the brunette as she watches the girl beam with such intensity it takes her breath away, she isn't aware she's being watched, doesn't see Buffy's soft eyes upon her.

They've defeated the First, a battle Buffy won't forget, couldn't if she tried.

Lives were lost, falling upon the ground, they went down in victory, went down as heroes. Each person whose blood was shed, heart stopped…they died with pride, held within their own eyes and others who survived. They played a part, danced out their road as they fought with strength, with speed, movements that captured the fear, the rush of adrenaline and potency they all beheld.

Tears would be shed for them all, sadness, pride, grief, liberation. Mixed emotions that swell inside of every survivor, burn at their hearts as the realization hits them.

Hits them with such force, making everyone react differently…

Crying…Hurting…

Sitting in numbness, words forgotten, not able to ease any of the ache.

Giles is driving, he's silent, face passive…his way of dealing.

Xander is merely looking out the bus window, his reflection painting his sorrow telling of how his heart yearns, how it has broken with the loss.

Willow and Dawn are talking though Buffy can't hear what about, they have tears falling down their cheeks yet they both behold a sad smile, their dealing well…dealing okay…

…Kinda.

The other Slayer's all have different ways of coping, most are sitting in silence, some are talking though all of them have tears streaks, have that hope, have that loss, have that ache that clashes with the relief of defeating the First.

Buffy knows that, know how it feels…She's lost, but she's won.

It's hard to deal with, to focus on one thing, the winning, and the loosing so much eats at her…Grabs her heart with an ache so powerful she can't breathe for a moment, can't stop the tears that seem to fall endlessly as she sits alone on the seat, head resting upon the window, blood staining her clothes, dirt, sweat…it reminds her of what went down. And so she cries silently to her self…Her way of dealing.

Though within all the hushed whispers, quiet sobs and humming of the bus a soft chuckle radiates around, reaching everyone's ears, telling them and pulling them from their minds, taking away the thoughts that clouded and suffocated them. It's Faith and Buffy finds herself momentarily stunned, unable to even breath as the smile she hasn't seen in ages graces the younger Slayer's lips.

She's not chuckling at anything in particular, it's not aimed at anyone, she's just chuckling…Softly, lowly as though it's only to herself, as though she's the only one around.

Maybe it seems that way…

Her smile is full, showing her dimples reaching her eyes, it doesn't hide anything, doesn't shield her emotions…Their all there

Relief

Happiness

Anguish

Sorrow

She keeps her gaze on nothing, her thoughts maybe.

Buffy doesn't look away, doesn't think she could. Her tears have stopped, her thoughts about their ordeal have faded slightly, Faith's yielding and captivating smile seems to deem her unable to think, she only feels, though it's not an ache it doesn't tear at her heart and grip her with such overwhelming emotions…

…It's simple

She feels safe, warm, able to continue on and hold herself together.

Faith's chuckle, her smile is the only thing she is focusing on.

She doubts the other Slayer even knows what she is doing, though no one makes a move to stop her, they all seem content to let her voice fill the bus, let it remind them that they survived and although things are hard, people were lost, it keeps the reminder with them that they succeeded…

Yes, they won…

Yes, they lost…

They can say it with a pride in knowing that the fallen went down fighting, say it with hope that the survivors would do it again if need be and say it with a smile because they knew, and they loved the people who sacrificed their lives.

And so Buffy listens, watching Faith chuckle, watching the many emotions that can be seen in her eyes, she's smiling, she's laughing…Her way of dealing.

And just the mere action the brunette is displaying makes Buffy breath easy…

Makes her give a small sigh…

…A smile…

…A chuckle

Both Slayer's voices now blending as one as the bus is filled with their chuckles, it's pained, it's relaxed, it's quiet…but it's existent and it's telling of their survival…Making Giles lips quirk a fraction, making Xander look from his reflection with a small amount of lull about his features, Willow and Dawn smile without the sadness and Faith's eyes catch Buffy's as they are both now smiling with heart.

Their way of dealing.

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_A/N: Please let me know what ya think, even if it's just to tell me it was cheesy..._


	3. Blinded Deer

_A/N: Third one-shot!!! I wanted to upload this one quickly because i was having second thoughts about it, so here it is. Has more Buffy/Faith. Wrote without reading back so I hope it is okay and makes sense. It has some swearing in it, just thought i'd forewarn you. And is set from Faith's POV. Feedback would be appreciated..._

Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been.

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She's staring at me

God! Could she get any more annoying?

Though she has every right to, I mean it's not every day I show up at her house, bang down her door then freeze like some fuckin' deer caught in the headlights. I haven't said a word, well if you count the slight mumble that escaped my lips about a minute ago then I have actually said something…Though I'm not counting it.

I continue this way…the whole not speaking thing seems to be working for me as she is smiling.

I can tell she's trying to hide it though her attempts have failed, her lips curve up and I hear a soft chuckle penetrate the once silent air.

"Faith…" Her voice is light, not really a question more so said as a mere statement, maybe even a slight greeting.

Still keeping up my headlight blinded deer act…

Yeah okay so it's not exactly an act…

…But I ain't admitting that 'kay!

I simply look at her, she's still smiling and somehow that makes me feel a pang of anger, she's laughing at my lack of words, I just know it. Faith Lehane; The girl with no words…Well, just when she's around Buffy Summers.

Putting my thoughts a side I channel every bit of self control I have as I narrow my eyebrows.

Yeah, death by eyebrows…Gotta give me props…even if it has the lame-ness about it.

This makes her smile grow. "Faith…did you uh, want something?"

Want something?

Did I?

I mean sure I could shake my head and walk away, I've already completely made an idiot out of myself why not add the whole running away thing to?

Or I could make up some smart-ass innuendo and regain some pride…

…I think about this, which only further prompts B's grin…

"Yeah…" I say, my voice is raspy and uneven…

Damn, girl! I have gotta stop mumbling like some fifth grader with a crush!

I glance at B, she gives a nod and if I thought her smile was bad another giggle escapes her lips. "Well…?" She pushes and I suddenly remember her question.

I have no control over my words as I completely leave my brain in la la land. "Well what?"

Yeah, I said that.

The words belong to me and if I could I would fuckin' disown the bloody things.

I can't, curse that, and now I am stuck looking like a total dork in front of Buffy.

"What did you want?" She says and her voice is soft, she seems in a good mood-

..Wait! Hold the phone then smash it against the wall! When do I care what bloody mood Buffy's in?

I shake my head, ignoring her confused stare as I attempt to form a sentence, words, syllables…ANYTHING!

"Ya know me B…" Alright not the most fire-fueled start. "Just thought I'd, y'know, drop by." I shrug and she mimics my actions though hers is done with a certain lightness about it.

"Okay, well do you want to come in?"

"Nah, I thought I could just sit out here and yell to you through the door." She doesn't miss my sarcasm and gives a quick eye roll…

"Suit yourself." She says and I don't miss the playful wink she gives me as she steps back inside and goes to close the door, I stop it easily as the palm of my hand smacks against the wood, I hear her laugh then the door is open again.

"Funny." I quip a faux glare fixed upon my features, she nods.

"I thought so." Then without warning she has my arm and I am being pulled inside, I stumble slightly and narrowly avoid bowling her over as I steady myself. She smiles. "So, you gunna tell me the real reason you're here?"

It's said in such a customary voice, devoid of much emotion except maybe amusement as she looks over me, I falter

Falter?

Okay, I have seriously got to pull myself together.

Faith Lehane does not, repeat that for effect NOT! Falter.

Only I have and now she's smiling even wider like she can read my mind, she can't, god if she fuckin' knew what I was thinking, if she knew the real reason I was here, knew what that something I wanted was…She'd probably freak…

Maybe…

I can't be sure and I ain't all surging to find out.

She clears her throat and it's only then do I realize she is merely a foot away from me, girls' got speed.

I know what I want to say, know how I would pronounce my sexual innuendo, it would come off as confidant, implying, yet also holding that friendly banter to it…I don't even get a word in as she speaks, with every word she inches closer.

"Something, you, want?"

Hell! I'm dying here…I can feel her breath on me and it takes basically every muscle in my body to keep me from going limp and collapsing like some fresh faced kid in high school…y'know like after the bullies have picked him to be their punching bag and what not.

I don't think she realizes how much she is affecting me…

Why would she anyway?

Not like me being close to her would make her legs feel like jelly.

I find myself again mimicking the whole deer in the headlights scenario, and cause deer's can't speak neither do I…well that's how I'm fuckin' making it.

"Let me guess." She says and it catches me off guard, I look at her evenly and get a classic Buffy smile, the one that has always made my stomach do flips.

I cough under my breath, steeling myself as I attempt to speak. "You really think ya can read my mind B?"

She nods. "I could give it a shot."

"You could give it your fuckin' best shot, y'know you'll get it wrong."

Okay, so I'm a talking deer…But she's the one challenging me!

She laughs and I feel faint at how warm it makes me inside. "I have high hopes I can read you, you really aren't as good as you think you are at hiding your emotions, it's like reading a book…"

"A book…" I deadpan, not remotely caring for the analogy.

She shrugs as she grins. "A very interesting book, one I'd read again, go back for more."

I bite back my retort, oh how I could have had fun with that line…Though the smirk on her face suggests she already knows this…

Was she baiting me?

I shake that thought away as I gather my words. "Alright then, lets here what ya got…What'd I come here for?"

She bites her bottom lip as she smiles before inching closer. "…Me."

I go to laugh though the clarity of her words hits me and I realize what she said…

"Damn." I say and shake my head.

"Told you I knew what you were thinking."

"Lucky guess B."

"So I'm right?" She asks and I wince…walked right into that one.

Backing up from her I hold my hands up in a sign of 'I give in' she flashes me another smile and I find myself returning it. "You've got style B, I'll give ya that."

She nods. "Thanks…I think."

"Though I bet ya can't tell what I'm thinking now." I add and she seems a little caught off guard, she hides it well with a quick smirk.

"Bet I can."

Oh! She is so bluffing…This is gunna be fun.

"Go on then…" I leer. "What am I thinkin'?"

"That…That I am a really good mind reader?" It's a futile effort and we both know it, neither of us seem to hide our smiles at her answer, she shrugs her words off and I take a step closer to her, I lower my voice to almost a whisper.

"Far from actually." She raises her eyebrows.

"Oh really?"

"Uh huh, I was thinking how good it would be to kiss you right 'bout now." Leaving no chance for her to reply I grab her firmly around the waist, pulling her closer as our lips brush one another's, at first it's subtle though throwing all caution to the wind I press my lips harder against hers, she responds almost instantly and I feel her hands running through my hair, our bodies become nearer and I can feel the warmth from her.

I break apart only when air becomes a problem and slowly pull out of her grasp so as I can get a good look at her features.

I smile still half buzzin' from the kiss but also because now it seems the roles have reversed, letting my chuckle ignite the silence I walk past her.

"Anyone would think you were a deer caught in the headlights B." I quip and she turns at my words, eyes still wide and apparently she has swallowed her vocabulary as all she manages is a low mumble.

Damn, she's cute when she's speechless!

I give her a wink and she seems to blush which only fuels my ego as I leave her standing near the front door, right now I needed to sit, the whole kissing Buffy thing had kinda made me feel all faint and getting to a chair was priority right now. I hear her follow and smile to myself as I collapse on the couch, raising my eyes to meet her.

She bites her lower lip again and smiles, I'm glad I'm sitting cause that would've probably knocked me out the ball park. "Want to know what I'm thinking?"

Strike one, strike two, strike three…_YOU'RE OUT!!!_

I grin, clarity forgotten, it's only her I can focus on. "Tell me…" I say and she takes a step closer.

"I'd rather show you…"

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_A/N: Just had to end it like that didn't I? But it leaves it up to your imagination. I hope you all found this one-shot interesting, okay-ish, bearable...Whatever you found it I am glad you took the time to read. Thanks._


	4. Got my back

_A/N: Next one-shot is here! This is from Giles POV and contains a characters death, though keep in mind i have a continued one-shot to follow so not everything will be as it seems. Also I sound like I am a Wesley hater a bit in this, but i'm not. He's not my fav character, but i got nothing against the guy._

_I also wanted to say a giant thank you to _finaldragon13, _your review made my day. (Sits and eats carrots) lol. _

_Hope to get feedback, if not, thanks for reading._

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I'm not sure if it's just me, perhaps someone else has noticed as well, although I highly doubt this to be the case. I suppose all my queries on this have gone unvoiced therefore explaining the lack of others knowing, it would be foolish, a calamity on my part to even think for a second that Xander, Willow, Oz, Wesley and well I deduce Cordelia might have caught even the slightest clue as to what I have…Well, what I suspect I have.

I watch them a lot, merely doing my job as a Watcher. A Slayer is not a Slayer without one. My profession is not something to be taken lightly, indeed not, it beholds risks and factors one must be cautious of at all times. I've got to take things into consideration and uphold a certain refinement when on duty…Which when thought upon is always.

I've got my eye on them now as Wesley speaks to the gang, he's pacing near some bookshelves, hardly making a word of sense yet his extensive vocabulary would make you think otherwise. Their sitting close together I didn't miss the way Faith had pulled her chair towards Buffy's, nor did I overlook how casually she had performed that mere action. They seem to be listening quite ardently to Wesley, something on its own which is moderately peculiar. Though to the somewhat untrained eye you'd not pick up on the smaller, rather scarcely there glances they are stealing. My eyes however note every detail.

I must look quite a sight, staring with verve at the two. Although I memorandum that the rest of the group are either talking with hushed voices amongst themselves or slipping ungracefully into a peaceful slumber, I turn my eyes from a partially snoring Xander and again keep a steady lock on Buffy and Faith.

Well that is until Wesley speaks up in a loud voice. "So, Giles if you don't want to articulate anything I can assume we're all set."

I fluster somewhat though if I do say so myself hold it together well. "Um…Well, yes…No I think we're, ugh, all set."

"Giles!" I revolve in the direction of the two highly yelled voices and see a livid looking Faith accompanied by one shocked Buffy.

Oh, dear what have I said?

"You really want us to follow through with his plan?" Buffy asks and I give a well thought out, well structured reply.

"Huh?"

"The man's trippin' if he thinks that stingy idea is gunna sit well with us!" Faith chimes in though unlike Buffy's her eyes are prominently looking at Wesley. "We follow those instructions, we die."

"Faiths, right…" Buffy goes to say, though Wesley seems to have recovered in leaps and bounds from his initial non-responsive moment and cuts her off.

"Nothing is wrong with the plan, you are mistaken to think otherwise and I have it on good authority that going in guns a blazing will not work, my plan, and my preparations are structured and finely built on facts."

Faith snorts. "Whose facts are they? Yours?"

"Indeed, I have taking every possible action to ensure we succeed in our plan."

"Okay, but let me get this straight cause it seems as though although I have no major role in this whole 'kill vamps' play, sneaking into a nest of ugly foes is a bad thing, very bad thing, a bad thing where people die…"

"Xander I can assure you nothing will happen."

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I always said famous last words had a certain irony about them, well never out loud, though on many occasions I would be in thought about it. So to say what Wesley said had turned out to be ironic, well, it would have been right on the mark. Indeed something did happen, something where in an unfortunate turn of events I end up locked in a cage underground watching Faith drag Buffy closer.

It's dark so I can only see so much, I can hear more…Hear Faith's heavy breathing as she mutters something, not to me, I would calculate her words were said for Buffy to hear them. She has stopped walking now and I watch with interest as she carefully situates Buffy against the ever so crumbling clay wall again she speaks though her words are low, whispered not to me.

"How is she?" I ask and I get a wave of Faith's hand. "If I can be of any assistance…"

"Giles, you're locked in a fuckin' cage so unless you can squeeze through the tightly compressed bars I suggest you shut up."

She's angry so I let her words flow passed me, keeping my thoughts in my head as I simply watch, fitting really…I am after all a watcher.

"Do you need anything?" I look up ready to answer though quickly close my mouth when I realize Faith's not talking to me, I see Buffy shake her head.

"Only a remote so I can…go back a-and watch were I w-went wrong, pause it there, then…then delete and re-tape over it."

Faith laughs, it's a laugh forced and I see her hesitantly grab Buffy's hand. "I didn't have your back."

A statement which makes Buffy sit up straighter, I don't fail to see her return Faith's before gesture as she grips the brunette's hand tighter. "Yes, you did...It's the vamps fault for being too damn quick." She smiles and I just want to break out of the constricting bars and help her, help them both.

Faith nods, moves closer and smiles. "C'mon B, think 'bout what you're saying here, when you've come to ya senses you'll be kickin' yourself. 'Sides only a scratch." She points to Buffy's stomach and I can only just make out the darker shade tinting her shirt. "…Slayer healin' will cover that problem."

I try to reframe from talking, although find the words just float out without so much as a warning. "Well, ugh, from what I can see she's going to need medical attention, the factors are not in favor and I do fear a substantial loss of blood."

Faith doesn't look at me and I'm left to gauge her reaction by Buffy's response, I turn to look at her and she's focused solely on me, giving her an apologetic smile I see her return it. "I'm fine, it's not that bad." She says it not completely convincing though I nod and she looks to Faith. "I'm fine, ego's a little shot and my pride is fractured, but seriously I'm not planning on leaving everyone just yet."

"Glad to hear it B." Faith whispers. "'Cause I was kinda hoping ya'd stick around." She smiles and its then do I feel a slight sting in my neck, my head becomes confounded and no shortly after I fall do I become unconscious.

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My heads bloody pounding, excuse the language. But right now I'm a little more than irritated. I struggle to sit up leaning heavily upon the wall, my eyes refuse to focus and I solemnly note my glasses are cracked ever a fraction. Let's just add insult to injury shall we?

I can hear heavy breathing merely a meter and a half away and squint just a fraction as I make out a figure.

"Buffy…" It seems my voice doesn't want to work and I croak out her name, she turns to face me.

"Giles, you're awake – are you okay?" Her voice is desperate, if I may deduce…broken

I nod. "Indeed, I'm fine. Buffy are you alright?"

She doesn't reply and instead ignores my question so I ask the next thing on my mind. "And Faith…?"

Her eyes meet mine and it's only then do I see the tears, unspoken yet they hold so much emotion.

"Buffy?" I push, keeping my voice calm.

She looks to her stomach and her hand rises to clutch her bloodied top, her own blood still present and I remember the wound she bared before. "I'm hurt Giles."

So distant, so devoid of emotion.

Said merely to state a fact, to ignore and dodge my question.

I studying her and frown at her pained features, she's tired and I know she's probably fought more vampires tonight then she would in a week.

I nod and try my best to seem calm as tears now stream down her cheeks, her hazel-green eyes almost pleading with me as she utters in merely a whisper, hushed and broken.

"Why?"

I shake my head and answer softly with a question. "How?"

She mimics my actions and brings a shaky hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.

Her words effortless and steady although they behold an unbearable amount of emotion

"I didn't have her back."

-

-

_A/N: i'll admit it's a bit sketchy, I was in a hurry because my laptop was playing up and i wanted to post something. PLZ for my own sanity let me know what you think, I'll get the second part of this (Long) one-shot up soon. *Batters eyelids* Pwease review...yes i added a W in my please, i'm desperate lol. _


	5. Got my back Part 2

_A/N: Thank you to _liljemsey _who reviewed, I hope you enjoy part two of this REALLY long one-shot lol. This is a long part two, simply because my muse grabbed hold and I couldn't stop writing. Tell me what you think, reviews make my day and every writer loves to get feedback._

-

-

"What you are suggesting Buffy is beyond my knowledge, I cannot allow you to delve into this without you knowing what you are doing and also being aware of the consequences." I say as I look upon not only her but Willow and Xander, she shakes her head.

"Giles, we've been through everything." She gestures to Willow. "Read every book and prepared everything, we can do this."

I don't believe her even if a part of me wants to, taking off my glasses as they only give me leeway to see her saddened face I clean them carefully.

"Buffy, what you _think _you know about this is indeed very little. It's dangerous and the complexity of what you are talking about is not something to be taking lightly-"

"-Lightly? How could I take this lightly Giles, I'm serious, I'm taking this _seriously_."

She shifts from her position near Willow and starts pacing the library, I watch her in silence.

Back and forth

Back and forth

"This is me being serious Giles, I have my game face on and when I say we're prepared I mean it!" She again gestures to Willow and for a brief moment stops in her incessant pacing. "Willow is ready, she can do this…I know it may seem big and dangerous, but I fight vampires every night-"

I raise my voice a fraction. "-Fighting vampires pales in comparison to what you are suggesting." She stops walking and I clear my throat. "You're talking about bring the dead back to life."

"_Faith_, I'm talking about bringing Faith back to life." She corrects and for a moment I actually see some sense in her plan although I need to be cogent.

I nod. "Indeed, Buffy – It's hazardous and we don't know for sure if the plan will work what if something goes wrong, what then?"

She shrugs much like – well much like Faith would and stares at the ground.

"I'm all for keeping on the safe side; you know where no nasty's can get me. But Giles as far out as this plan sounds…its Faith." I look over to Xander and he nods just a fraction as he continues to speak. "She died at the hands of some mega bad vamps; we can't let that be her final cue…"

"_Won't_…let that be her final cue." Buffy adds and I sigh.

"I'm sorry, I am."

"Giles-"

"Buffy, I understand how you feel; Faith shouldn't have lost her life like this and I myself have emotions I can't quite deal with, but you can't get mislead…"

"Mislead? Look, I know what I feel. I am angry and sad and disappointed." She counts on her fingers and I can see tears brimming in her eyes. "I am pissed off Giles because I don't have to feel like this, because I-" She breaks and looks at Willow and Xander. "- _We_, can bring her back."

"I've been reading up on resurrection every chance I get, and um well there's some pretty interesting stuff, like how if you do it wrong they could come back different, devoid of emotion or just evil…But, well I have made sure that I get every crinkle out of the spell and – I think, no I know I can do it. Giles Buffy is right, this is Faith and we have the power to do something about it." Willow adds she gives Buffy a quick smile and trains her eyes upon mine.

I shake my head and look to the floor, it's not easy being rational and sometimes for the briefest of moments I wish I could have the hope they behold, indeed I can't say I do and find myself looking back up. "It's not safe."

I try to make my words final to detach myself from the conversation quickly although Buffy speaks up, her voice hurt and low as she walks past me.

"Nothing's ever safe Giles…"

The door shuts loudly a few seconds later.

-

-

I'm not sure why I went looking for her, something deep down told me to give her some space to just let her deal, although a bigger part of me felt the need to makes sure she was alright, to comfort in some way.

I didn't need to look long as to my predictions she was where she normally was.

I quickly removed my glasses as I came to a stop next to her, I smiled and from what I could gather she had calmed somewhat.

"I'm sorry about earlier Giles." Her voice is quiet and I barely register it as she continues. "I'm just a bit shell-shocked you know this whole thing with Faith – I don't know how to process it."

I give her a nod and persist on cleansing my glasses. "We all deal differently Buffy and in different ways."

She turns to me and I can make out tears in her eyes, seems they're always there. "I wish sometimes, when I'm in bed and it's really late that I could go back to that one moment – go back and change things, make it right."

"You are not alone in that Buffy." I say and she nods.

"It's not simple is it?"

"What's that?"

"Bringing Faith back, it's not easy."

I stop cleaning my glasses as I look to the ground. "It is indeed one of the hardest things to get right, the spell alone is difficult and the mere promise of successfully brining her back is not something to trust."

"I miss her." She says and to be straightforward it catches me by surprise at how heartfelt her words sound.

Nothing more is said for the moment as the evening wind lulls us into a quiet stance.

I nod finally signaling that I agree with her words and I feel her shift slightly.

"Guess I just need a little Faith." She adds and it's so softly put I don't register half of what she's implying as she walks away.

I put my now very well cleaned glasses back on and gaze at the grave stone in front of me, reading silently within my mind the words that are engraved upon it.

'_Faith Lehane – She saved the world a lot.' _

-

-

It's been a while since I've talked to Buffy, been even longer since I've seen her. Willow and Xander are no exception and although I shall and have tried not to be curious I can't shake the utmost berating that something is not quite right, that though indeed if I rang it'd go straight to the machine or how if I enquired to Oz or Cordelia they'd shrug me off in some unruly gesture and ignore my questions. Even if I'll admit I am somewhat hasty to judge and worry, I'm a Watcher – and as of late not a lot of that has been happening.

Probably, well no almost certainly why I find myself on Buffy's doorstep at an hour best kept for sleep. I knock and after a pause I can make out muffled footsteps, trying not to seem or project as eager nor overcrowding I step back a fraction.

A moment passes, longer than I indeed think necessary and the door flies open. Buffy smiles and to be perfectly honest I feel like I'm looking at a cardboard cutout of her as she seems to freeze and wait for me to speak.

"Buffy, I'm greatly sorry for such a visit at this time and do apologize – I just wanted to check up…well not check up exactly just more so see how you are doing, well I hope?" I clear my throat and she nods a slight 'MmHm' piecing the air as she plasters on what has to be an overenthusiastic grin.

"I'm fine Giles, nothing to worry about."

I tap my head forwards, studying her features as I do. She's still smiling, still standing expectantly for my reply, clad in jeans and a white tank which her washed out jacket hides most of – I blink astounded – she's smiling, _smiling?_ Granted it's been almost a week since I last saw her and I do believe she may have healed somewhat, but this wasn't right.

No, indeed not.

"Is everything alright Buffy?" I ask although my voice is shadowed by an even louder voice.

"Who is it Buffy?" It belongs to Willow and I quizzically look to Buffy, she shrugs.

"Everything's fine, Willow and I were just having a girls' night in."

I go to nod at her half hearted response when another voice comes into play. "If it's the pizza guy just pay him already, no tipping, guys already shown up ten minutes late."

Buffy blushes and I raise my eyebrows. "Is Xander also having a ugh…girls' night in?"

"Couldn't leave him out?" She tries and I shake my head, moving past her as I invite myself in. I'm aware it's not polite but my curiosity is peeked.

She follows as I make my way to the living room and I feel her hand grasp my shoulder gently.

"Just wait for us to explain…" She says midway stopping as I reach my destination, I turn to face her quickly.

"Explain what Buffy?"

She points passed me and I carefully follow her outstretched arm across the room, passed Willow, Xander, a bowl full of chips, the T.V…I stop my eyes as I land on who she had referred to.

Mouth a gap and I properly scold myself for behaving like a rotten fish.

"Faith…" I manage studying the brunette haired girl from across the room, her hands immobile in her lap and stray strands of tresses frame her face. She looks a little sick if not lost as to where she is and I can't help but feel the concern rise.

Buffy walks past me and I watch still stationed stiffly as she carefully sits next to the other girl, her hand moving with ease to lightly touch Faith's arm, a gesture of comfort.

"We were going to tell you, but, well it all happened so fast." Willow says and I nod on auto-pilot.

Buffy looks up. "Giles…" Her voice is quiet and I concede it's for Faith's benefit, she smiles at me carefully. "We did it."

Three simply put words that to no other than a stranger would seem to lack substance, to me however it holds so much and says even more. I allow a small hardly seen smile to grace my lips and nod.

"Indeed, Buffy you did."

"She's still not completely Faith like." Xander chimes breaking if I may say a moment of complete serenity. "I mean at first she didn't even recognize us, went all mashed potato in her mind…we thought maybe the spell didn't work, but then Buffy she started to talk to her, calmed her down-"

"I just acted on instinct, she's better now though – more coherent." Buffy adds looking over to Faith as she gives her arm a gently squeeze, Faith as I have noted doesn't take her eyes off her and a simple flick of a smile is all that is seen.

"You're not mad right? I mean the fact that Faith is okay and not all evil has to be good and you can't say you're mad at that…" Willow asks and I can't help the plentiful smile that touches my lips, I reach to take off my glasses although pause as I talk.

"I'm not mad no, although I hardly see that going behind my back was the right way about this, if things had gone wrong – well the fact of the matter is it was very un-responsible and I do expect not to have something like that happen again."

Buffy nods. "Got my word."

I glance her way and lower my still paused hand as I look to Faith; she's now looking at Buffy's hand on her arm.

"I trust she'll be alright?"

Buffy follows where my question was directed and gives a mere although confidant nod. "I'll make sure of it."

I believe her and simply respond by giving her a quick smile, it's a lot to comprehend and I find myself minutely glancing over to Faith, checking, watching - making sure she is in fact okay. I notice as the night wares on and Willow explains in detail the resurrection that Buffy does the same, regularly looking to her, rubbing soothing circles upon her back or simply placing her hand on her arm. Faith to my understanding doesn't mind – if anything she seems a lot calmer with Buffy's touch.

I smile to myself when I realize that although this has come as an unexpected surprise to me, in fact of the matter Buffy basically in well placed words had told me of her plan. Told me that she wasn't going to let Faith stay…well dead. I of course failed to pick up the message, failed quite ardently to notice this may have been going on.

The words in so little voice she told me play over in my head and I again allow a smile to etch upon my face.

"_Guess I just need a little Faith." _

…I guess we all did.

-

-

_A/N: I guess it kinda has opening to a 3__rd__ part lol, to which I could do from Buffy's POV or something. Though maybe that's just my muse getting to eager. _

_Took over an hour to write, takes a second to review…_

_:)_


	6. Got my back Part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS, never have.

_A/N: 3__rd__ part up lol. This is becoming more of a short story. THANK YOU to _liljemsey _and _boop-oop-ee-doo _for reviewing, hope you like the update._

_From Buffy's POV_

--

-

It's late or early – depending on how you want to look at it. Giles, Willow and Xander have all gone home, each to their own looking tired from the day. Giles took the news well – his initial shock wore off in time and he actually gave me a smile when he left, one I can honestly say looked relieved and proud. I know he isn't completely trusting of Faith, but that didn't – _doesn't _mean he has no concern and respect for her. I smile to myself and look back over to Faith who is still situated on the couch.

I can't lie, she looks like hell. I want to ask her what it was like being dead, how it felt – although I know she'd probably not answer and my prying might further her slightly confused state.

I have to admit that when Willow performed the spell and Faith lost it, I was scared, worried. I didn't know what I was saying, the words just seemed to spill over my lips and into the air, she heard them I know she heard everyone – her eyes looked dark, so full of pain so I kept talking, kept trying to stop whatever anxiety she had…I just wanted to make her better.

-

"_Faith, Faith listen to me!" I yelled a light fog being expelled with my words as the night air met my breath; she was standing although hardly maintaining her fighting stance as she looked between Willow, Xander and I. "its okay." I whispered voice suddenly a low stillness._

_She locked her gaze on me and moved her head slightly to the left, taking in my appearance. I smiled – well tried to smile, it was hard when all I wanted to do was scream and cry and hug all of Faith's pain away. After a moment she dropped back, arms falling to her side as she breathed in._

"_B?"_

_I nodded an eager step forward being my reply._

_She flinched back slightly although still kept talking. "What happened? Why am I here?" _

_I watched as she gestured around the cemetery, eyes stopping on a dug up grave as she squinted through the darkness, she chuckled and I heard Xander stepping up next to me._

_His voice came out soft. "Faith, we can explain."_

"_I died?" She whispered and in that moment my heart dropped, walking quickly towards her I stopped merely a foot away._

"_It's complicated Faith, right now we need to get you to my house, we can explain more there okay?"_

_She looked quickly to me like she hadn't noticed I had moved, eyes searing with doubt. "How long?"_

"_What?" I faltered my voice light._

"_How long was I six feet under B?"_

"_Faith I-"_

_She stepped back and held her hands up, head shaking to the side. "How long!" _

_I winced at her yelled statement and heard Willow clearing her throat. "A bit over two weeks…" _

_Faith's face went pale, more so then before and her hands ran through her hair. I frowned and stepped forward though she hesitantly pushed me back, lightly yet warningly._

"_Seemed like longer." She whispered and I nodded. "Fuck, I-I…this has to be some messed up shit, I'm still dead aren't I, still where I was before."_

"_Faith no-" I tried, attempting to stop Faith from freaking out although she yelled over me._

"_This isn't right! This is so not right! I'm still in hell ain't I?"_

_I watched as she took another step backwards and quickly followed suit, she glared although I simply spoke. "No, you're not. Faith listen to me okay, everything is fine-"_

"_I died B! How fucking fine is that?"_

"_Please, just – you're back Faith, we brought you back."_

_She shook her head and turned away. "I died, I died and was in the ground for two weeks, can't - didn't even…I tried to but it was so, fuck! They did this to me – all of 'em."_

_I frowned at her incoherent speaking and looked to Willow and Xander – no help came from them._

"_Faith, it's okay." I said, noting I sounded like a broken record. I stepped closer and throwing caution to the wind lightly placed my hand on her shoulder, she tensed. "I'm here okay, and now that I am you're going to be just fine, I am not going anywhere no matter what…"_

_I paused moving around so I was facing her with my two hands holding her shoulders. "Please say something."_

_I didn't let on to the others that I had been having doubts over her sanity, although just by the looks they wore I knew I wasn't alone. So at that time getting Faith to say something, well, anything really was my goal._

"_Faith?" I persisted and she looked quickly to me._

"_Didn't really know where – because, vamps and such." She mumbled and I blinked back the tears that until that moment I hadn't known were welling in my eyes. _

"_She's not making sense." I pitched to Willow, she looked about as good as I had felt and shook her head._

"_I don't – maybe it didn't work?" _

_I stared longer at my friend, before Faith's movements had captured my attention and she flung herself into my arms. I stumbled back a bit, stunned at her actions and wrapped my arms around her._

_It was instant and I hardly noticed it, to focused on trying to balance myself and her._

_A hug from Faith was a rarity and I found myself starting to worry even more about her state of mind, until she talked. Hushed and low so as I only could hear._

"_My grave stone sounds lame and since when have you known my last name?"_

_-_

I shift on the couch as I quickly glance to Faith, she hasn't moved since the last time I looked though she does have her eyes shut, the silence is lulling and I have barely enough energy to keep my eyes from closing, feeling the promise of sleep wash over me I slowly shut my eyes.

Only to have them fly open a second later as Faith speaks. "Least I went down fightin'."

I blink a few times as I comprehended her words before sitting up straighter. "What?"

Her eyes are still shut and she smiles faintly. "Gotta give me props for surviving that long with fucking juiced up vamps, had at least five on me right an' two kickin' the shit outta me."

I grimace, to be honest I don't know how to reply. We were both there, both fighting for our lives. Vampires surrounding us easily and within the battle we separated, not fighting back to back but more like me in a corner and her seven meters away. I thought I had it bad, that the odds were against _me. _With the whole wound and blood coming from my abdomen thing I had going on. Faith was fine, I thought she'd be able to handle herself. I was wrong.

"Faith, I'm sorry." I look to the ground and feel her shift beside me.

"Not your fault B, I didn't go on the defensive." Her voice is low and I don't miss the exhaustion that laces it, I look back to her and she has her eyes open, staring at the ground like I had been.

It was my fault, how could it not have been? While she was trapped by a bunch of blood thirst vamps I was too busy with my own. I had three to fight. _Three! _And yet still I couldn't spare a thought to her, didn't bother looking to check if she was okay.

I shake my head and run my hands quickly through my hair as I keep my gaze on Faith. "I didn't have your back." I say and without thinking grab her hand.

She looks quickly to me and simply smiles. "Kinda havin' a déjà vu here, 'cept roles are reversed."

I laugh gently. "I should have looked out for you."

"I'm not a child B, 'Sides you had your own vamps to worry 'bout." Her hand moves from mine and I realize that my gesture of comfort is probably overcrowding her; I take my hand back and look to the floor, studying it intensely as though I'm going to have a test on it or something.

"I had three vampires to fight Faith, not really something to worry about – you had seven."

She moves again and I look at her. "I took on seven B, because you had some serious shit to slow you down." She motions to my stomach and continues. "Thought I could handle 'em, guess not." She shrugs and I resist the urge to hug her as I smile.

"You had my back." I state and she nods.

"Got me killed, but yeah B – I had your back."

I wince and the guilt stabs at me. "I didn't have yours." I know I've said it before, but it slip out to fast. I clench my fists together and look away from her.

"I seem to remember a certain fire under you as you completely dusted the son of a bitch who sank his fangs into me." She replies and I instinctively look to her neck, where a couple of weeks before blood had stained her skin. She visibly tenses under my watch and I look away.

"Yeah, but you still ended up – well."

"Dead?"

"Yeah."

"Point is you had my back B, just not great timing on your part, but ya still tried."

I nod.

Frowning at the memory of Faith being held in the grasps of a sneering vampire, the sheer flashback of her falling to her knees stains my mind it was utter adrenaline that made me succeed in dusting off the remaining vampires, hoping mercilessly that she was okay as I turned to face her. She was still kneeling although just barely, one hand flat against the ground to hold herself up as she merely looked at me a faint smile reaching her lips.

I wanted to scream in that moment although instead found myself almost throwing my body to the ground as I held her up, feeling with every breath she took her heart become slower. She didn't speak – though neither did I and minutes after I felt her body fall limp I still held her, not wanting to leave her alone.

I shake my head and push away my thoughts as I grab Faith's hand again. "I'm sorry." I whisper and can't help furrowing my eyebrows when she merely shrugs, a light smirk on her lips.

"The only thing ya need to apologize for B, is my grave stone." I mockingly frown at her words.

"I thought it was catchy."

She laughs and I have to admit it makes my stomach do flips; I've missed just talking with her. It's easy.

"Catchy is something like 'Faith – kicked a lot of bad guy's asses'."

"How's that catchy?" I find myself questioning and she just smirks. "Better yet how about there are no engraved words or grave stones?" I add.

"I think I can live with that." She says and her voice is raspy, the exhaustion of earlier reappears and I smile when she goes back to closing her eyes.

I most certainly can live with that to.

I gently release her hand and shift so that I'm closer to her as I lay against the back of the couch. Her light banter still making me feel calmer although I don't discount that she has a restless look on her features, I know things won't go back to running smoothly straight away so for that time of rockiness I'll be strong.

…I'll have her back.

And even if she doesn't quite believe in the words of her once graves stone – She did save the world a lot.

But most definitely she saved me more.

-

--

_A/N: Tell me what you think!!! Even if it's just to say something random…_


	7. Got my back Part 4

_A/N: I seem to have a problem with making up one-shots, lol. This has turned into basically a short story. The fourth part is here, yep, I want to again thank _liljemsey _and _boop-oop-ee-doo _for reviewing, seriously you both rock – This is from Faith's POV._

_Enjoy_

-

-

I feel like shit – yeah being dead probably does that to you, not to mention the coming back to life thing. I don't remember much of it, just that my body felt like it was fucking on fire and my head couldn't think straight. It was only two weeks, I was dead just _two weeks_ – seemed longer…felt like an eternity.

I don't know where I was – didn't feel like heaven, same time I know it wasn't hell.

Fucking place was dark, cold. Like sitting in a freezer or maybe not quite a freezer, a fridge or something; I can't really remember, since rising from the dead my minds been a pile of goo. Real help to me, NOT!

B's been good really, a little crowding though I haven't complained – _can't _complain. It's kinda nice of her letting me stay at her house and all, I woulda been fine on me own but hey a free place to crash, warm meals and hot shower – can't say no to that, would be a massive fool if I did.

Plus, I'm seriously doubting my ability to function properly on my own.

Can't even stand without getting all feather headed…yeah, yeah I know – loser should be plastered to my forehead in red letters. Still on the flip side, I get to spend time with B and sure she can talk like a million miles per hour, without taking a damn breath, but that's how I like it. Not big with words right now, I need to get my thoughts sorted before I go blabbering to anyone.

I'm sitting on her bed right now, somehow she convinced me she'd have the couch and I could sleep in her room. It's dark, kinda like when I was dead although not as cold. I know she's still upstairs, I can see the shadow she makes every time she walks past the door – she's stopped more than once and I wait for the door to open, although it never does.

It's late and all I want to do is pass out and sleep forever – I don't.

Every time I seem to shut my eyes, I feel alone…kinda a bit lost and shit.

It's mucked up and I really hate my mind right now.

Tried to get some shut eye down stairs, rest up a bit y'know. Even with Buffy round I had to talk to keep my mind from lashing out and pulling me right back to where I was…damn if I knew, but I don't want to be there again. She was all cool bout it and I don't think she noticed my internal struggle to withdraw and collapse in on myself, probably a good thing really.

Again her shadow appears at the bottom door crack and I get the familiar pulse of electricity and hum of something that feels safe. Slayer connection has its charms. The handle turns and slowly the door is opened a slight creak emitting harshly, she curses at the noise and for a minute I think she might have thought I was asleep, although I'm sitting – and last I checked I didn't sleep with my eyes open.

"Can't sleep?" Her voice is low and she shuts the door quietly, I shrug and she smiles. "Yeah, me either."

I don't mind her being in here, takes me away from my thoughts which is always a good thing. Although contrary to my acceptance of her being in the room I move my knees to my chest, it's comfortable – warm and I guess kinda a pathetic shield, whatever.

"Pretty soon it'll be morning." She says and I watch her gesture to the window, the light that gets past the curtains is tainted a smoky blue – reminds me of when I'd go out and stay up all night, getting so smashed that I barely could walk straight. Alcohol sounds fucking good right bout now.

I nod and simply watch as she sits hesitantly on the bed, smoothing out the sheets for no particular reason.

"You comfy?"

"Five by five." I reply, far from actually but hey little white lie never hurt nobody.

She frowns momentarily and I can tell she wants to ask me something, probably what it was like being dead, maybe I could sum it up in one word for her;

_Empty_

_Dark_

_Crushing_

Okay, so wasn't one word – kinda hard to narrow it down.

"Faith?" She whispers and I realize I'm rocking batch and forth – okay, so not what I should be doing.

I look up and she moves closer. "Are you alright?"

"Fine B."

She doesn't believe me.

"I don't believe you; maybe you need to get some rest."

Not a question but I answer, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible.

"Rest ain't gunna help." She frowns and I hate seeing so much concern in her eyes, am I not making it seem like I'm fucking fine? Obviously not because she moves to place her hand on my knee and tries to catch my eyes – I look away and there's a moment of silence.

"Why?" She asks and I hate her for it – yet a part of me was hoping she'd question me.

"Nightmares are a fucking bitch."

"You're having nightmares?" Her voice floods with concern and I flinch back although she doesn't remove her hand from my knee. "What about?"

I know she desperately wants to know and the fact she all but whispers her words makes me want to tell her, seeing ushered tears in her eyes almost breaks me though I steel myself and clench my teeth together.

"Things."

She rubs her thumb across my knee. "What kind of things, bad things?"

"Aren't nightmares usually bad B?"

She blushes slightly and smiles sheepishly; it makes me feel kinda relaxed.

"Sorry." She says and I nod a smirk daring to come.

"It's just dark." I utter and realize myself I don't even know what the nightmares are about, are they even nightmares?

I mean it's only when I close my eyes, the feelings I get like I'm back to being dead. Can't say I could see those feelings becoming a good dream – they're heading only one way and I'm set on not waking up thinking I'm fucking dead again.

She nods and I find myself talking without my own consent. "Hard to explain I guess."

"You don't need to, I understand Faith."

I know she doesn't, even she knows she doesn't, although she's about as close as I'm gunna get to anyone understanding so I merely nod and rest my head on my knees – her hand moves and the warmth that had spread over my body disappears, leaving me feeling cold.

She stands and I can't help but look at her, trying to decipher if she's gunna leave.

Her hand reaches out and she smiles. "Well you can't sleep and I can't sleep, so how about we go down stairs and drink massive amounts of coffee?"

Not exactly vodka and shots but hey next best thing.

I take her hand slowly and she pulls me to my feet, not letting go as she starts to lead both of us towards the door. I don't mind really – can't stand up properly as it is and the last thing I need is B seeing me fucking swooning to the floor like some fainting moron.

-

-

"So do you take sugar with your coffee?" She asks when we reach the kitchen. "Milk?"

"Anything's good B."

She nods and waits for me to sit at the table before quickly going over and pulling two white mugs from the cupboard, its dark, no lights have been turned on and she fumbles slightly as she places them on the table.

"If this doesn't work and we find ourselves all sleep-y again, we'll move on to sugar."

I smile at her words and she turns around, the mugs held firmly within her hands as she places one in front of me. I grab it slowly wrapping my fingers around the sides, I don't mind the burning as my skin heats up – least it's not cold; I'm done with being cold.

She stays standing and merely sips her coffee slowly; I know she's watching me. She has been all night. Although something in me doesn't care that she hasn't taken her eyes off me, it's kinda comforting I guess – I don't know.

"Mmm." She says and I see her smile like a fool.

I take a sip of my own drink, the liquid burning at my lips although I ignore it as I make to mock B. "Mmm."

I attempt a goofy smile and hear her laugh softly.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Bet I am B."

Another giggle from her and I find myself wishing I could hear it again, I simply hide the smile tugging at my lips as I swallow a mouthful of coffee. I'm not gunna lie, I still feel like shit – though parts of it seem to fade when B's around. Like just having her next to me or close can take away some of the coldness that seems to have infected me. I don't know. Maybe I'm being stupid; brain probably got stuffed up when I died.

_Died_

It just doesn't seem right.

I know it is, Fuck, there's no way I could forget all the blood…my blood.

Taking out by some shit eating vamp – I didn't even go down in a halo of spectacular heroism. Merely caught off guard, outnumbered. Buffy helped me though – Slayed easily the vampires I let best me. Wish I could have thanked her out loud although I only managed a smile. Girl had speed though – dropped to the ground like someone had knocked the wind outta her. Can't say having her hold me wasn't consoling though – made dying easier in a fucked up sorta way.

I don't know, maybe I'm turning soft or something.

"You okay?" Oh shit, have I been thinking this whole time? "Faith?"

"Gotta stop asking me that B, gettin' to sound like a record on repeat." I choke out, it's strained and damn do I sound like I've inhaled a bucket of dust or something.

She nods and I can tell she's studying everything I do so I look down at my mug. "I'm just concerned Faith, It's not every day you get brought back to life – it's not something any of us has done before, it's big you know?"

"Yeah, B." I shrug my shoulders out of habit probably because the moment doesn't call for shoulder shrugging. "Takes a lot outta a girl being dead, then…not being dead."

"Do you feel okay?" Her voice almost cuts me with how much worry she has, I smirk, she frowns at my attempt. "Faith?"

Another shrug from me. "I'm good B, just trying to deal y'know. Like you said not every day you get brought back to life."

She nods at my answer and places her empty mug on the table, I note mines still pretty much full.

"If you think it'll help, I am always available to talk." She says and I want to scream yet hug her because she's being so fucking sweet, I settle for a more Faith approach and plaster on a 'eat shit' smirk.

"Thanks B, but I'm not a word person." It's not meant to reject her offer and for a moment she looks slightly baffled though giving me that good old Buffy smile she nods.

"I know Faith." I look at her. "But a person can change."

God could she get any more friendly?

The girls' reaching out a fucking olive branch and all I can do is stare at her.

I'm messed up.

So messed up.

Was before I died, now look at me!

I swallow thickly – for some reason this seems to be another thing I mess up as I cough slightly.

She smiles, it's intended and I feel like I'm falling – damn her and her fucking ability to make people talk!

"I think the spell mucked up, I think something's wrong with me."

Her face becomes suddenly serious and she moves closer to me, it's silent and we seem to just stare at one another, seconds passing, minutes.

Her breath escapes almost cut up as she whispers into the dark kitchen. "Why?"

-

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_A/N: What is wrong with me!!?? I have again left it open for another chapter, ahhh! Lol. But seriously if you want me to continue I would love a review or two. _


	8. Got my back Part 5

_A/N: Part 5!!! LOL. I'm just gunna go ahead and say this is a story – just mixed with other one-shots, lol._

_I want to thank everyone who reviewed._

boop-oop-ee-doo: _I am glad you thought I got Faith in-character, that's what I was aiming for. Thanks for the review!_

liljemsey: _Your review made me smile, always good to get your feedback._

wagner710: _Thanks so much for the review!!! Made me all happy, hope you enjoy this chapter._

_I have Faith's POV and Buffy's; you'll see when they change._

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I'm shaking my head, have been for at least five seconds now. I don't know how to answer, don't have a fucking clue as to what I should say. She wasn't meant to ask me why, wasn't meant to get that typical concerned look on her face – she was suppose to say something else, don't know what, but just something other than asking me _why. _

"Everything's so cold." Shit, now I'm telling her why.

"Cold?"

I look at her and nod. "Don't really know how to explain it."

"Try." She's closer to me now and I want to yell, _what's with the one worded speech? _

However I don't – swallowing thickly I push backwards and slide the chair across the room as I stand. Dramatic? Kinda – though I wasn't going for it. I need air and having her so close is making me feel confused.

"It's…it's not something you'd get B, I don't know even where to start."

She's stepping closer and I find myself backing up, I feel like a fucking rabbit corned by a fox.

"The beginning." She says and I come close to rolling my eyes at her reply – simple little Buffy – guess what? Ain't that simple!

I shake my head and again swallow the lump in my throat, she's looking at me carefully and I want to run. Always been a talent of mine. Although considering my options I decide to merely stay put, couldn't out run B in the state I'm in, plus and let's not forget this fucking crinkle – My head is spinning like a mother fu-

"Faith, you okay?"

I cringe again at her concern though don't answer as I stumble backwards – black clouds covering my vision.

"Faith?"

I swallow a third time and note my mouth is dry. "Think I'm gunna pass out."

Words of a freshly resurrected Slayer – yeah, wish I could bloody disown them!

I attempt a pitiful smirk and reach aimlessly for something to hinder my fall as my legs give way, my stomach lurching within me as gravity sets in, though the cold floor as I'm expecting doesn't meet me and I find strong arms wrapping around my waist. They're warm. Soaking some of the coldness from me.

I hear Buffy breath softly and realize we're basically hugging – adding the standout fact of me being all fucked up and going raggedy-Ann in her arms.

"Thanks, B." I mutter and even I have to admit I sound wiped.

Her body vibrates against mine as she laughs slightly, backing us up till my back is against the wall and she can support me better. "Stood too quickly, you better now?"

I nod and attempt to push her back a fraction – girls getting all cozy.

She doesn't budge instead pins me with a look I can't quite understand.

_Worry_

_Pity_

_Tiredness_

Whatever, it's complicated.

"You didn't come back different Faith." She says and I want so badly to believe her – make things in my life easier.

She moves her hand from my side and places it against the wall, furthering my trapped situation. I'm inclined to make some kind of retort about our position, but really, I've been dead for two weeks – 'nough said.

"You don't know that." I reply and push at her again, is she made of brick of something? Or am I just seriously weak?

She shakes her head lightly though never looks from me. "I can tell."

Okay, girls' gotta learn to lie properly.

I humour her. "How?"

"I just can, I'd know if you weren't right Faith, trust me."

I grit my teeth – not because I'm mad or nothing, I ain't. But because she's gotten even more closer to me.

"Then why do I feel so cold?" Man, could I sound more desperate?!

She looks at me with something mixed between apprehension and worry before lowering her arm to her side.

"Where?"

I must look lost or something at her words as she quickly continues.

"Where are you cold?"

Where am I cold? Fuck if I know, it's all around – it's in me just under the surface, deep inside, flowing through my veins and gnawing at my bones. Waiting it feels like, just bubbling quietly. How am I meant to pin point it?

It's there when I close my eyes – consuming my every thought.

Like an itch, one you can't scratch.

I shrug trying desperately to keep in check my voice. "Everywhere."

Unwavering voice…_Check_

She frowns and my heart sinks, maybe she thinks I'm messed up to.

"It could be the effects of the spell, it was a pretty big ordeal to go through and even Willow said it might have side effects." Her eyes meet mine and I again shrug.

"I got the dizziness, I got the nausea, confusion and massive tiredness B – unless I heard wrong Red said nothing bout feeling fucking cold as ice."

Eat-shit grin on face…_Check_

Buffy again frowns as she grabs me lightly by the shoulders. "Faith, this isn't something to laugh about-"

"-Whose laughing?" I say and try again to push her back; she reacts and grabs my wrists – holding them firmly by my side.

Anyone else and I would have busted their jaw by now – B however…different story.

"You're fine." Her words are low and I can't help but wonder who she's trying to convince…

Me or herself

I want to scream at everything, I would if I weren't so fucking tired. I mean sure life's screwed me over before – I get the message! Now leave me the fuck alone!

This isn't right, something in me isn't right and even B can feel it. Sure the girl hasn't admitted it yet, but she also doesn't know how easy to read she is. Basically a big neon sign hanging above her head at all times. I breathe in quickly and find my vision becoming blurred.

Great, don't tell me I'm gunna pass out again!

However no black shadows cover my eyes and I find myself blinking slightly as warm streaks of liquid fall down my cheeks – Fuck! I'm crying!

Detached emotion from face…_uncheck!_

-

-

She's crying

Faith

And I don't know what to do.

I don't think she even realizes it, she's just standing there.

Her eyes are looking at me although they hardly see a thing, what should I do? A question that I know I'll probably never see the answer to, yet it's streaming constantly through my head, like some constant stream-y thought…

Okay, so I'm panicking a bit.

My first thought and reaction was to hug her, you know like if I see Willow upset. But that's the point, she's not Will – she's Faith. So hugging should be limited at all times. Plus she's having some major doubt issues right now, I want to help her, console her worry – but can I guarantee that the spell worked?

Not like whoever wrote it set a time limit on when the dead/alive would show signs of being well…not quite right.

And even Willow wasn't sure if we'd notice straight away if something had gone wrong.

Oh, god! What if it's delayed? What if the spell really did stuff up?

I can't think like that…no more negative vibes from me.

I look at her again and she seems more coherent, I can tell she's trying desperately to stop the tears that are coming and only now I realize I am still holding her wrists. I let go and for a minute she doesn't seem to notice, although soon after her hands are almost angrily wiping at her cheeks.

I breathe in ready to say two words that by now seem like second nature, they're beginning to sound meaningless although that's far from reality. "You okay?"

She jumps slightly and I get the feeling she was lost in her thoughts. "Yeah, whatever."

She pushes on me to step back from her; it's more forceful than the other times.

I don't comply just yet. "Look, I know this must be stressful for you…" _what am I some type of counselor? _"But tomorrow we'll go to the library, Willow might be able to help somewhat – check to see if you're okay, that everything's hunky-dory."

Hunky-dory? Wow – like that's going to make her feel better. 

She shakes her head although it's not of the 'no' variety, simply a gesture.

"What if it's not?" She's asks and her voice is back to being firm, steady. Like a second ago she hadn't been crying.

I don't answer – not that I wasn't going to; I just need time to think of my reply. Maul the whole concept of her going – well, I don't know how she'd act. Willow was willing to tell me only so much, probably thought if I knew what could potentially happen to Faith I'd back out.

I feel her push on me again and this time it's enough to make me take a step back.

I cut off whatever she was about to say as I answer quickly. "Look trust me when I say this, everything will be fine."

"You're lying B, right through ya teeth."

Okay, when did she get angry?

"Willow has tons of books-"

"Books ain't gunna help Buffy!"

I cringe at her loud statement and can't help but notice the use of my full name. She's upset and I can tell she's trying to hold back, to keep her emotions in check. I'm panicking. Panic mode on!

Although I keep my face passive and merely place my hand on her shoulder, somehow touching her makes me feel reassured. Like just feeling her reminds me she's here, that I'm not in some weird dream and she's not still dead. She doesn't move or shrug and I take it upon myself to talk.

"So far Faith you haven't become rabid and tried to kill anyone, Willow said that if the spell didn't work you'd be devoid of emotion-" I reach up with my other hand and wipe what is left of her tears. "-kind of seems like you have a lot of emotions at the moment."

"I don't feel right B, my stomach is massively hurting and I have a wicked headache." Her voice is calm and the fact she just told me this means she is about ready to drop. I nod and take her arm. I don't exactly know why I've suddenly become all touchy-feely with Faith, I guess like I said before just being able to hold or feel her reminds me she's alive.

"You should sit." I state basically dragging her in the direction of the living room.

"If I sit I'll sleep."

I look at her quizzically…Oh, right! Nightmares.

"Not if we're talking you won't."

"B, as much as your voice delights me." Sarcasm. "I'm not really in the mood for talking…"

I sit down once we reach the couch and she follows suit, I note noticeably close – which in itself is somewhat comforting.

"Look, we don't have to talk about anything if you don't want." I rest back against the couch and get comfy. I smile… "Guess you'll miss out on everything that happened while you were away, that includes mega scary weirdoes with tentacles."

I dare a glance her way and smile even more…Faith's like a cat;

"I guess I'll just get some shut eye then." I add, she nods.

"Fine with me B."

"Okay, goodnight."

"Night."

Give it a second – little longer.

She sighs defeated. "Alright, fine. Tell me 'bout these baddies, gimme the scoop."

Yep, just like a cat…curious.

--

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_A/N: I am basing this in season three, so I think the fact Faith isn't so defensive and edgy is right. She was more open in season three – well until all that stuff with Buffy and turning evil. (Though she never was truly evil) This though hasn't happened from what I'm writing, if that makes sense._

_Okay, enough of me droning on. Tell me if I should continue…I'm gunna anyway, but reviews make me do it faster ^-^ _


	9. Got my back Part 6

Disclaimer: Don't own BTVS.

_A/N: Sorry about the wait – life kinda came a calling and I got really busy and distracted. 6__th__ part here. I want to give a shout out to everyone who reviewed, they made me so HAPPY. It's always good to get feedback!!! So THANKS, THANKS and one more time THANKS._

_From Buffy's and Faith's POV._

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We're sitting in the library – Faith and I.

Have been for about five minutes

Giles, Willow, Xander and the rest haven't yet arrived and Faith hasn't exactly been in the talking mood, making my conversation to her a one sided babble. She's sitting on top of the table riffling I note not so gently through a thick book, I doubt she's reading any, mainly because it's upside down and written in some language even Giles would have trouble reading.

Although my earlier attempts at striking up small talk saw her hand jarred quickly in my face and a low 'shh' emitted from her mouth. Maybe she really is trying to decipher what the book is about – though I'd lean more so to her just not wanting to talk.

I've taking up humming, pacing back and forth in front of her as I try to keep myself awake.

Staying up all night is kinda a no, no in my books.

Faith however doesn't seem tired, still looks a little sick – but I haven't once seen her yawn.

I hum louder merely to invoke a reaction from her, she doesn't react…I walk closer and stop right in front of her, poking her should with every little hum I let out.

Higher hum, lower hum

Squeaky hum, gurgling hum

Yeah, so being tired makes me a little crazy.

She doesn't move and continues to read as though I'm not even there, I poke her shoulder again and let out a giggle – this time she looks up. Her eyebrows rising only slightly as she speaks.

"Something I can do for ya B?"

"You can talk to me; the whole ignoring vibe I'm getting from you isn't too pleasing."

Her eyebrows quirk a fraction more. "I am talkin' to ya now."

"Wasn't before." I say and fix a pout on my face; I almost fall over when she smiles back.

"Yeah, well I was readin'." Her attempts at shoving the book in my face succeed and I laugh quietly.

"Faith, you're reading something that looks like chicken scratch." I point to the hard cover of the book. "Plus it's upside down."

She takes a fleeting glance down and shrugs with normalcy. "Guess I'm wicked smart than hey B?"

"Either that or you're trying to ignore little old me." I try to keep it light even adding a toothy smile although she quickly lowers her head. We hadn't really talked much about how she felt, sure she had told me outright she thought something was wrong and I quickly suggested the whole meeting up with Willow and such – although since we had left the house, she's been acting like nothing is bothering her…maybe it's her way of coping?

"Haven't been ignoring ya, but there's not a lot I can say to you humming – 'sides what's there to talk 'bout?"

I step closer and look at her carefully. "Ugh, oh maybe how last night you thought something had gone wrong with the spell." My voice is singsong and I cringe at the fact it came out chiding.

She looks up although the glare and fire I'm expecting doesn't show, instead she just looks tired – maybe I should have forced her to sleep or something? A plan I can only see becoming bad.

"Something did go wrong with the spell."

"No it didn't."

"How do you know?"

I falter and although it's only for a minute Faith's already standing, her hand lazily chucking the book to the table as she walks past me.

"See B, even you can't deny I'm messed up."

"No, Faith its not-" I turn around although she keeps walking towards the library doors. "Where are you going?"

"To get some air…"

The door slams a minute later; a loud however muffled bang echoing around the library.

My brain must be slow because for a minute I actually go to sit down, wait for Willow and the rest. Although catching myself I quickly shake my head, walking quickly so that it looks like I'm stuck between a speedy walk and jog I open the doors – catching sight of her I start running.

Last thing the world needs is a confused Faith – much less one that is adamant she has something wrong with her.

-

-

Man, this is messed up!

Am I that fucking insane I'd just up and leave because B pauses a second?

It's not right and I can feel the anger burning at my stomach, rising with a vengeance so that I just want to scream. I clench my fists instead and keep walking; maybe some fresh air will calm me down.

I'm just about at the exit when I hear her footsteps behind me, their rushed and I find myself walking faster. I don't need to see the concern in her eyes, I don't want to.

"Faith!" Her voice is cut up from running as she nears.

I keep walking. "Faith wait!"

This time the anger is too much and I spin quickly to face her, misjudging how close she is I slam into her my hands grabbing her arm in an attempt to stop her from falling over – she stumbles though Slayer balance kicks in and she recovers looking a little shocked at our run in.

"What?" I snap even though my anger is notching down a fraction, I see her visibly step back.

"You can't just leave; Willow's going to be here any minute."

"Not like I'm planning on runnin' away B, just getting some air."

She nods and I see that fucking concern back in her eyes, I look down.

"Well, can I come with you?" I shrug at her words – not that I would mind her company, but right now if she's gunna go talk about this whole 'coming back from the dead – and the ramifications thing' I'm out, Red will just confirm what I thought anyway, the way I see it – I shouldn't be fucking worrying 'bout it.

"Don't trust me to go outside on me own?" I know this ain't true – still I say it.

She shakes her head. "Faith, that's not it. I'm worried I guess."

"'Bout what B, the spell messing up?"

"No."

I layer on a smirk and step forwards a fraction, she backs up and I can tell she knows I'm angry – hell I'm fucking furious.

"Then what, what are you worried about?" I'm not yelling though my voice is kinda heading there.

She swallows thickly and for a minute I actually go to back down – what's with me?

"I'm worried about you."

"Can take care of myself B, don't need your help."

I give her a quick glare and turn hurriedly to the exit, although as I do I run into someone taller, someone who makes with the reflexes and stops me from rebounding to the ground. Their hands holding me firmly by the shoulder as I attempt to back away.

"Pardon my clumsiness Faith, I do apologize." I look up and see Giles he nods over to Willow. "I was indeed sparing no thought as to where I walked; Willow in fact had most my concentration."

"I was telling him about a spell I found."

"A very captivating one at that, again Faith I'm sorry."

He lets me go and I merely shrug off his apology. "No big G, you're not the first person I've run into today." I shoot Buffy a look though she ignores it and simply talks.

"Pleasantries aside, can we get down to business?"

Giles nods. "Of course, what is it that you wanted to tell us Buffy?"

"Why don't we go to the library, quieter in there – with less of a chance we'd get heard."

He again nods and allows Red to walk before him, I tag along at the rear ignoring Xander's friendly attempt at a smile. I'm not really in the mood to strike up pointless conversation with the guy, so I merely look to the ground.

-

-

"So what you're saying, what you both are saying is that you think the spell Willow performed to resurrect Faith, went wrong?" Giles asks and I nod quickly as I shift in my seat, Buffy however shakes her head.

"No, I think she's fine." Her voice is strained, desperate for Giles to believe her. "It's just, I thought it better to be safe than sorry."

"Right." He nods and looks over to Red, who as of a few minutes ago started shuffling through a few books. I can't blame him for looking worried, not like he was around when I was brought back or nothing – so therefore he probably can't trust Buffy's word on me being all fine and fit. He takes off his glasses and looks back at me and Buffy. "Is there anything else we should know?"

I shake my head – Although this time Buffy nods…what are we complete opposites?

Okay, that question's to easy…fuck yeah.

"Faith said she's been feeling cold." She glances over to me.

Giles nods. "Well, indeed it has been quite clouded the past few days and with all the rain we had-"

"No, not that kind of cold." Buffy interrupts and Giles looks a bit sheepish. "It's different, like – ugh, well…Faith?"

I pretend to ignore her words, like she hadn't just thrown me into the spotlight – though Red looks up interestedly and B takes it upon herself to nudge me in the ribs. Damn me for sitting so close to her!

"Yeah, ugh it's sorta a gut kinda thing."

Xander raises his eyebrows. "An explanation wouldn't go astray right about now."

I look at him quickly. "From inside me, ya know – it's like someone stabbed me with a fucking icicle." He nods slowly. "Repeatedly." He grimaces. "Get it?"

"Just about, give my brain some time to play catch up and we'll be all set."

I go to reply although B stands quickly and addresses Red. "So, do you have anything that could help us figure out if the spell went wrong? Maybe magic or – or some other means?"

"Why don't we just wait to see if she goes all zombie on us?" I glare at Xander and Red quickly hands a book to Buffy.

"There's one spell – I could try, although I haven't had much practice at it. I-it's pretty risky and I'm not too sure on every detail. But if Giles – well with his help I may be able to pull it off, but like I said before…risky." She looks to me then back to Buffy, I shrug.

"Um okay…" Starts Buffy and she turns quickly as though questioning me silently if I want to go through with the spell. When I don't reply she glances at the book in her hands and clears her throat. "Faith?"

I look up raising my eyebrows and Giles quickly talks.

"If I may put in, I simply must warn you that the spell Willow is indeed talking about is not something I deduce to be safe – and although if you were to agree I would help in any way, I still feel that some thought on this is worthy."

Buffy nods. "I agree, Faith maybe you should think about this."

She looks at me and I can see concern – I cringe. Girls' gotta keep a tab on her empathy.

"Never played safe before B – 'sides I don't like to dwell on things." I look away. "You think you can have everything ready soon Red?"

She nods and in return so do I, ignoring Buffy's agitated sigh.

…Man, I hope this works.

Not that I'm worried or nothin' – nah.

Not worried at all…

…Man, I hope this works!

--

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_A/N: So how will the spell turn out? And is Faith really different after being brought back?_

_Review and I might just update quicker…lol_


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